Friday, September 8, 2023

How do we explain Quaker Meeting for Worship?

Photo of meeting house benches with cushions


It's a new school year here on the East Coast of the United States and we have welcomed a new group of students, learners, educators, families, and caregivers to our school community. Some members of our community have Friends school experience and many are experiencing this way of growing, learning, and reflecting together for the first time. As the faculty and staff gather to plan and set our course for the year, the question always arises, "what is Meeting for Worship and how do I teach it?"


Here is some language that we use in our community as a beginning or an opening...


Meeting for Worship at Sidwell Friends Lower School


Sidwell Friends School has Meeting for Worship as a part of its curriculum, believing in its important contribution to the school community. Even the youngest students are taught how to use moments of silence effectively.

 

Quaker Meeting for Worship is silent.  No one leads the group in ceremony.  Quakers believe people can guide themselves toward their own truth, and that silence is the context in which this process can occur.  A first-time observer of an adult Quaker Meeting for Worship might say, “Nothing is happening. They just sit there.” Likewise, a visitor to a Lower School Meeting for Worship might say, “The children are wiggling. They can’t possibly be getting anything out of this.”  Is there more happening than meets the eye?  Is the effort one must make to reach silence worth it?  We believe it is.

 

On e morning each week, the entire Lower School is engaged in meeting for worship for a period of about twenty minutes (the Middle and Upper School also have their dedicated time for Meeting for Worship weekly, for 45 - 60 minutes). During the Meeting for Worship, the teachers or a student clerk will read a current query.  Queries are open-ended questions which are stated simply and have many possible answers. Classes take turns carefully formulating a query for the entire school to consider and reflect upon.  Sometimes the teacher may choose to read a story or poem to their class before or during the silence in order to give the children an idea to focus on.  But the silence is also cherished for its own power. We learn that sometimes the silence is the message.

 

In addition to the weekly Meeting for Worship, each class begins each day with a period of silence.  During these times teachers help children become comfortable with silence and encourage them to make good use of it.  Simply establishing silence for a few moments is quite a powerful accomplishment for any class of 4 -10 year olds. Central to the purpose of a meeting for worship is an acceptance of what another individual believes is important. This idea has a powerful trickle over (trickle on... trickle through... ) effect into other areas of teaching and learning for our students and faculty. Meeting for Worship ends when a previously selected member of the group (student clerk) turns to a neighbor, puts their hand to their chest and then waves at or shakes their hand. We strive to make a purposeful moment of eye contact with our neighbor in order to re-connect ourselves joyfully and with a stronger sense of community.

 

A few details about our Faith & Practice:

 

As Robert Smith describes in The Quaker Book of Wisdom: 

 

“Friends believe that each individual has access to God through the powerful illumination of the light within, they worship in silence, joined in waiting for God to speak to them directly…”  

 

Meeting for Worship is a time for listening to that still small voice for vocal ministry, as opposed to sharing “whatever is on your mind". Quakers are waiting for messages from God that might give the Meeting something to learn or grow from. What aspect of your faith identity might be your still small voice? We hold a long silence between messages to give them (the message) time to “settle.”


  

Notes around our expectations for and of Meeting for Worship:

*Meeting begins as soon as the first person sits down – silence should grow from that.

*We are sharing active silence and expectant waiting as we wait to receive a message that is appropriate for the group – something we can all connect with or learn from.

*The reason we face inwardly is so that no one member of the group is the teacher/minister – we are in community together – we are all potential teachers/ministers.

*Someone will serve as clerk to close the Meeting with the transfer from heart to hand, indicating to others that they should also wave, smile, make purposeful eye contact with each other.

Wednesday, June 8, 2022

Which Seeds Will We Water?

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     This is an excerpted letter written by Bryan Garman, Head of School at Sidwell Friends School, on the occasion of our 2021 Founder's Day celebration. It addresses the need to remain on the path towards justice in our country and in our communities. He talks about the work of my kindergarten class this spring.


"April 21, 2021

Dear Friends,

 

Today is Founder’s Day, and I open the day with this query:  Which seeds will we water?  Here is a video message for our students and community.

 

Yesterday’s landmark verdict in the Derek Chauvin trial provides an opportunity for reflection, one that comes in the midst of persistent racist violence.  I continue to hold George Floyd’s family, and all victims of brutality, in the Light, and hope that the guilty verdict provides a moment of solace on the long road to justice.  As a citizen and member of a Friends community, I hope we have arrived at a crossroads at which we will create meaningful law enforcement reform and deepen the dialogue about racial injustice.  This moment must mark a new beginning.

 

As the trial closed, I wondered how we might make sense of this moment, and was reminded of a recent visit to Denise Coffin’s kindergarten class, where I learned some important lessons.  The students were discussing their “community carrots,” the orange construction paper cutouts that Denise uses to teach them about Quaker testimonies.  I was impressed to hear these tiny philosophers talking about their “equality carrot” —if you gnaw on it long enough, it apparently gives you superpowers to make the world just and fair.

 

Just as we began to appreciate this beautiful and innocent insight, another student identified an unforeseen challenge: what happens when we have eaten the whole carrot?  Would no one else be able to obtain the superpowers of justice?  We needed to ensure that there would be a lifetime supply.  There was only one solution: we needed to grow a whole garden of community carrots.

 

“Where do carrots come from?” I asked.

 

“Seeds,” they replied.

 

“And what do seeds need to grow?”

 

“Water!”

 

“That’s right.  You know, a famous person named the Buddha said that we all have seeds inside us that we need to take care of.  And if we water the seeds of goodness--seeds like equality and community and kindness, what do you think will happen?”

 

“They will grow.”

 

“That’s right.  And if we water the seeds of selfishness or unkindness what will happen?”

 

“They will grow too.”

 

Which seeds will we water? What will we choose to cultivate as we process the Chauvin trial?

    

Even as we peek around the corner of the pandemic, we have seen people embrace violence with brazen predictability.  Mass shootings have once again grabbed the headlines: Sikhs, Asian Americans, and students have had their lives capriciously truncated. The Chauvin trial resurfaced last summer’s trauma and a painful national history. Even with a guilty verdict, justice has been so long deferred that it continues to be denied. We witness this truth in the recent murders of Daunte Wright (Minneapolis), Dominique Williams and James Lionel Johnson (Takoma Park), and a thirteen-year-old Latino named Adam Toledo (Chicago). How much longer will we tolerate such reckless disregard for human life?

 

In the meantime, nativists have racialized COVID and stoked the long-burning flames of anti-Asian racism. Shaped by white supremacist theories of social Darwinism and eugenics, anti-Asian sentiment focused first on Chinese American men, who, even as they built the transcontinental railroad, were emasculated and portrayed as inhuman and unassimilable.  This portrayal, as well as the interests of working-class whites, promoted the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882. This legislation provided the exclusionary framework that that has since restricted Latin American, Muslim, and non-white immigrants more broadly.  These histories, as well as that of Native Americans, are inextricably linked and have been used to construct and justify a false racial hierarchy.  How long will we tolerate policies built on such injustice?

 

Sidwell Friends has an obligation to create an inclusive community, to inspire students to work for equity, and to give them the intellectual tools and spiritual resilience they need to excel in all areas of human endeavor. The current turbulence calls us to still the waters and help our children contemplate questions of equity and justice. Our efforts to do so raise more questions than answers, but I present the following possibilities and observations for consideration.  

 

  • Racism hurts everyone. It is hard to improve upon the wisdom of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr:  “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”  Discuss this quote with your children and consider how we as a people and a planet can subsist if we fail to accept its underlying premise.  Explore how racism is both grounded in and recreates powerful falsehoods that distort our humanity and compel us to live in a morally corrupt delusion. How can we honor our different histories and still find unity?

  • Seek self-knowledge. The fundamental goal of a liberal arts education, articulated by the great teacher Socrates, is to know thyself.  Acquiring self-knowledge requires courage, honesty, reflection, and a willingness to reckon with what we discover, especially if it is unappealing.  How have deeply held ideals, political and economic structures, violence, and concepts of racial (and other) hierarchies shaped how you understand yourself and society?  What difficult changes might you be willing to make after considering this query?  What changes might the School make?  What questions are your children posing about injustice and how can you engage these queries to develop their moral intelligence?  How can we practice anti-racism?

  • Seek and provide support. The emotional weight of the Chauvin verdict, police brutality, hate crimes, and targeted immigration policies falls unequally on various members of our community.  Individuals process trauma differently, regardless of their identities.  How can we support one another in this trying time?  How can we seek the assistance we need?  How can we use this divisive moment to strengthen the bonds of community, demonstrating honesty and grace as we do so?

  • Affirm non-violence. How can we live the spirit of the MLK quote that the Black Student Union printed on the back of their 30th anniversary t-shirt:  “Hate can’t drive out hate, only love can do that”?  Please join us for the BSU Show, which will be   rescheduled for May 1. Discuss this MLK quote and other questions raised at the performance with your family. Read the Quaker peace testimony, perhaps the most inspiring piece of writing in the Friends canon.  Discuss Gandhi, King, and Cesar Chavez to demonstrate that creative non-violence requires discipline and courage, that its utility extends beyond race. Consider non-violent actions you might take as a family:  attend a peaceful protest, write letters to politicians or a victim’s family, plant a peace garden, read an author who offers a perspective contrary to yours on a controversial issue.

  • Familiarize yourself with and support the School’s EJC Strategic Action Plan. The plan recognizes that intellectual and human excellence are inextricably linked and seeks to deepen the sense of community that is integral to the Sidwell Friends experience. The plan now includes the following initiatives:

    • Re-examining our processes. Our plan provides a responsive framework that elevates the student experience, creates a reflective culture, and extends the reach of our EJC efforts.

    • Advancing cross-cultural understanding and assessing curricula. We plan soon to announce our appointment of the Supervia Chair in Spanish and Latin American Studies.  In addition, we will continue to raise funds for the Faculty Chair in African and African American Studies, and to explore the establishment of a teaching chair in Asian American Studies.    

    • Addressing anti-Asian racism. On April 27, the 38th annual John Fisher Zeidman ’79 Lecture in Chinese Studies will be delivered by Erika Lee, whose presentation is entitled, “The Long History of Anti-Asian Racism in the United States and What We Can Do about It.” She will also speak to students in grades 7-12 on April 28. In addition, we are working with student groups and parents on programming for Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) heritage month in May. Children’s author and illustrator Grace Lin will work with students in grades pk-6.  Please also join us for an interview with Mei Xu, former SFS parent, leader, and entrepreneur, on May 12. Mei will be interviewed by SFS parent Lesli Foster

 

This past year has been a time of tremendous loss and pain.  Perhaps we would be justified in watering the seeds of anger, anxiety, and resentment, but as our kindergarteners know, we reap what we sow.  What might happen if we instead cultivate compassion, grace, and peace?  As we edge impatiently toward the end of the pandemic—weary from worry and stunned by the pace of change—we must imagine new models and opportunities for human flourishing.  Our students are longing for a better world. Now more than ever, we need teachers like Denise, educators who interrupt conventions and raise consciousness, teach students to care, and plant seeds of peace and understanding that will germinate in hearts and minds and blossom through action.  Peace, reflection, and compassion—these are the superpowers of a Quaker education, when properly watered.

 

In peace and with gratitude,

 

Bryan"

Friday, April 23, 2021

What is Special about a Quaker Education?


 "Quaker education seeks to nurture a particular sort of personhood ... a person who has learned that truth, beauty, goodness, and love are evidence of the transforming power of the Spirit among us; a person who regards all of life as potentially revelatory of the Spirit and everywhere imbued with meaning; a person who is optimistic about the capacity of love and goodwill to mend the affairs of humanity; a person who has begun to develop the courage to testify outwardly what he or she knows inwardly; a person who has the courage to follow the inward argument where it leads." —Samuel Caldwell, "Toward a Clearer View of Quaker Education," Friends Council on Education publication

What Samuel Caldwell describes gets at to the heart of the meaning of the phrases "let your life speak" and "lead in the Light". In these incredibly complex and quickly evolving times, there is a profound hopefulness to be found the sort of personhood a Quaker education seeks to bring forth.



(Quoted from the Sidwell Friends School website.)

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